iPhone Car Show

Well believe it or not, my wife turned 29 again this year. As a way of happenstance, the Fort Wayne Mustang Club was holding their annual show at Ivy Tech this past Saturday (lucky her). So as an easy way to score points with my woman who loves cars, we made our way to share in the goodness. While I am not the car expert that Michelle is, I knew if nothing else, I had a chance to get some fun photos of the cars. I had the super cool camera from work in my possession (as I was working this weekend on learning the ins and outs of f-stops, ISO, and other things that I have no clue about), however, since it was raining, I didn’t think that they would be very keen if I went about getting it wet. Sigh. So all these were taken with my iPhone, which while an AWESOME phone, the camera isn't as robust. Take them for what they're worth (oh, and yes, they have been Photo Shopped).

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Reasons for Hope

Many of you may be wondering about a post I wrote earlier last week. I wrote about a dear friend of mine who was fighting cancer. Doctors reported that she wouldn't make it through the night. Her breathing had dropped down to 2 or 3 breaths per minute, sometimes less; she'll most likely never wake up again.

That's a heavy place to be in; in that moment, waiting. Few, if any, places are darker. And so, what do you do? What do you do when you are powerless, and hopeless, and lost?

And so we prayed. As individuals, we prayed. As a community, we prayed. As fellow believers for a stranger we'd never met we prayed.

And when the praying was done. We waited.

Several of us discussed prayer. Do our words have an effect on the outcome or merely ourselves? Does praying make a difference or is it merely happenstance that the thing we prayed for comes about? That day I prayed for one thing, that my friend would have the opportunity to speak to his wife again (as he had missed the small window where she was awake the day before), that he would get to say the things he needed to say.

I held my breath and waited, but I dared not hope. I was reminded of a quote from the Shawshank Redemption, "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."

Miracle is such a funny word. We toss it around at everything and we never really wrestle with what it means. It's kinda like "love". I love's me the pizza. I love you mom. It becomes watered down and powerless.

My friend buzzed through on Skype the following evening and I waited for the bad news that I had been expecting all day. I braced myself. I hardened my emotions.

But the shoe never fell.

Instead I was greeted by, "Well, she's still with us. She woke up today and I got talk with her."

Was that a miracle? I don't know. But what I had asked God for happened and the unexpected took place. Despite all of that, I dared not hope for more. It was enough that my buddy got to talk to his wife one last time and I could tell that he was more at peace than the night before.

So again I waited and I held my breath.

Friday afternoon my phone rang and it was my buddy's number. Once again my heart sank and I prepared myself for what I knew was coming.

But it wasn't him. It was her. There was shock. There was joy. And there was terror.

I fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith. Most of the time I can easily and quickly command language, but I was caught like a cat up to no good. I had asked myself earlier if I wanted this conversation, if I wanted my chance to say good bye. See, I don't believe in 'good bye', not really. I don't believe that this life is all there is to us a people, that there is an existence that happens beyond this world and that even if someone sheds this broken flesh, that shortly I will run into them again in another place and another time.

Yet here I was, on the phone. The first thing I noticed is that my iPhone's battery was at 20% so I quickly plugged it into my MacBook so that we weren't cut off again. And then we began to talk.

We laughed.

We joked.

She told me about her progress. How yesterday she spent more time awake and that she ate a little food. That today she spent more time awake and ate even more food.

We complained about work.

We talked about Batman.

And then we said good bye.

The last thing she said to me was, "I'll talk to you again soon."

I thought a lot about Shawshank Redemption this weekend. I thought about the theme of hope. At the end of the movie, Red is off to Mexico so see Andy, and he closes the film with this quote:

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it is the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope."

"I'll talk to you again soon."

Do you know what the funny thing is? I believe her. She's stubborn like that.

Don't miss understand. I'm still aware of the reality of things. I am aware that the doctors aren't looking at treatment options, that they are focusing on pain management. But she hasn't given up hope, she and her husband are working at different options. They're fighting and hoping; that's really the key I realized. You can't let that hope go.

There's another quote from Andy in that movie, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies."

I hope.

Verge of a Miracle

Verge of a Miracle
by Rich Mullins

Clung to a ball
That was hung in the sky
Hurled into orbit
There You are
Whether you fall down
Or whether you fly
Seems you can never get too far
Someone's waiting to put wings
Upon your flightless heart

You're on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
Oh you're on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see
You're on the verge of a miracle

Here in your room
Where nobody can see
Voices are loud
But seldom clear
But beneath the confusion
That's running so deep
There is a promise you must hear
The love that seems so far away
Is standing very near

You're on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
Oh you're on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see

When you've played out
Your last chance
And your directions
Have all been lost
When the roads that you look down
Are all dead ends
Look up
You could see if you'd just look up

You're on the verge of a miracle
Standing there
Oh you're on the verge of a miracle
Just waiting to be believed in
Open your eyes and see
You're on the verge of a miracle

Shallow

Believe it or not, I'm a person who has a varied skill set. I can act, write, create, and I even cook. However, there's one thing I can't do very well and that's shallow.

I don't do shallow very well at all. I can't do fake table conversation, I can't pretend that I don't have ideas and opinions. That doesn't mean that I can't deal with it, I simply disconnect or remove myself from situations. When I sit down to talk to people, it is with the full intension of investing myself in them and their struggles; that I won't settle for surface stuff. As a result I choose my friends very carefully. The people I choose to involve in my life are sparse, but meaningful.

They are good people. People who care about others and sacrifice for those around them. They are generous, they are thoughtful, they are people truly worth knowing.

One of the struggles of teaching is the separating of personal from educational. You don't share things, you're students; I'm the instructor. It's like I found out that Mike lives in my neighborhood, but I didn't bother to mention where it was that I lived. It's that wall that we use to keep ourselves apart. Don't get me wrong, there are certainly loads of wonderful reasons for doing that, especially when there is such a gap in the age of the instructor and the instructed. So if there were my EDU 205 class, this entry wouldn't be happening.

But that's one of the advantages of a smaller adult class, you feel more comfortable in sharing and it fosters a community, so it's what that in mind that I toss down these rambling thoughts.

My friend is dying and I am helpless to stop it.

I'm broken hearted, I'm pissed off, and there isn't a thing I can fix or do to help. I'm 34 for years old, my friends aren't supposed to be dying. She's 31, a mother for a 5 year old and the doctors report that sometime in the next 24 hours she will most likely pass away. She'll never wake up again. The last time we spoke on the phone a few days ago, our conversation was cut short because the battery in her cell phone ran out of juice.

That's what it feels like, like we had just gotten into the middle of a great talk and abruptly it was cut off. You've already vicariously met her, she's my partner in crime in the Learning Block #1 introduction video (that was filmed in August). In April she was diagnosed with T-Cell Lymphoma; last week she was supposed to have a bone marrow transplant and now tomorrow most likely she will no longer be on this planet and frankly I think it's a pretty shitty deal (pardon my French).

I hate stuff like this.

I hate that we live in a broken world. I hate that bad things happen to good people. I hate that reality trumped my hope.

Don't get me wrong; I live in a faith based world view. I know that God is in control; I know that He has a more perfect will that that I don't understand. I know that it's not my will be done, but His. It's just sometimes I wish that God would realign His will to mine.

If I am a bit flakey this week, I apologize, but at least you know why.

As always,
Bob

"Catch the light"

So the FIOS TV guys were out to the house today. Well, it was actually one guy. We've enjoyed FIOS internet since it hit Fort Wayne whenever it was (like 2 years ago or whatever) and we've LOVED it (well I've loved it, my family doesn't necessarily enjoy the direct experience as much as I do, but they certainly enjoy the benefits).

Every year I kinda go through all my bills and see how we might save money by taking advantage of new offers or new companies. I saved $500+ on my home owners insurance, working on saving some $$ on my flood insurance (I live near a river), saved $$ on the car and gas an few other things. While going through I realized that for 2 years we've had a Verizon landline that we never use (I use Vonage over my FIOS) and so I was planning on calling and canceling it. However, I'd also been looking at switching to FIOS TV and dropping our other service, so I thought, "meh", why not.

Long story short, I cobbled together a package from Verizon (the customer retention service, because that's where you get the best deals - I saved $120 in addition to their best package, but hey, I work the system) and managed to save some green, get a few more channels and all that good stuff.

So far I'm pretty impressed. We still have our other service running side by side so I can compare quality (hehe, I haven't agreed to the terms of service yet from Verizon so this way I can cancel without any penalty - always read the small print). The multi-room DVR function is great, you can start a program downstairs, and go upstairs and keep watching it. So yeah.

I also upgraded my iPhone to the new 2.0 software and I'm have a great time with that. All in all, I'm riding the light this weekend - oh, I totally got to get all the shows off my old system, so I might get stuck doing some marathons this weekend. Or maybe I will employ the power of the internet to fill the gabs.

As Always,
Technology Bob

D'Oh!

I pretty much missed my own blog deadline by not turning this in yesterday ;).

So this is completely random and has nothing to do with this class (well it will eventually, watch as I masterfully weave my tale and then bring it back home with some real life application - I'm not sure how I'll do that just yet, so I will be as shocked and surprised as you are), but I thought I would share it none the less.

Yesterday I had to shave off my beard. Yeah, I know weird right (that's part of the reason why I did podcasts, I would have hated to freak you guys out so early in the class). I look like I'm 15 without my facial scrub, like some kid too young to be leading a team at a University and certainly too young to be teaching a Grad class or to have a two boys 10 & 12.

Plus my wife hates it. A lot. I mean like wouldn't even look at me hates it.

See every couple of years I get these dry patches of skin that I can't get to because of the thick foliage that occupies a large portion of the surface area of my face. So off it goes. Apply some cream for a day or two and bingo, good for another 3 or 4 years.

But here's the really interesting part that. For the first time in about 4 years, my face was hair free. I mean totally. Then the freakiest thing happened; the AC kicked in. Shocking i know, but it totally freaked me. I felt a breeze. I mean actual air moving across the sensation of my skin. It was an on sensation because I was only keenly aware of it around my mouth and along my jawline. These pulsing waves of cool air and I was amazed.

It didn't end there, I had the day off yesterday (and today as well - so Laura I'm not blowing you off) and I went to take a nap (I know, that's how you know when you are getting old). My wife had left a T-shirt on the couch and I went to smell it, and as I did it brushed again across my face. WHOLLY COW! The tactile nature of that soft cotton was fascinating. Then I became a man possessed. I picked up Flash (one of our cats) and rubbed my chin on his head (as he is so keen to do to me), I splashed water on my face both hot and cold anything I could get my chin on I experienced all the new (or rather forgotten) textures. My mind was open to a whole knew world.

Okay, I admit, that last part was more serialized than reality, but you start to get the point. Most of you cannot relate to what that experience is like. You are so used to taking in those experiences that you've become accustomed to them. They have no newness to them, they are common place, they are every day. You take that base line knowledge for granted.

As educators we have the tendency to do the same things. For those of us in the technology field it's even worse.

Technology is my every day experience. I live it, breathe it, wallow in it in all areas of my life. From my computers at work, to my computers at home. Digital this, can HD that. TVs, personal media players, iPhones, Macs and PCs. I take it for granted; it just makes sense to. I forget that for some this is a whole new world.

That was made painfully aware a few weeks ago when I was asked to do some computer training for our Operations staffers as they are moving online with their forms and their communications. One of the classes that I offered was basic computer skills. When I say basic, I mean basic. I began with an assumption that these were people who were at least familiar with what a computer was. You know what they say about assumptions - they make an ass out of you and umption. I had to go back to the beginning, the very beginning and teach people basic keyboard. How to make capital letters, mouse skills. The difference between clicking, double clicking and left and right clicking.

Those frustrations aside tough, I had forgotten how wondrous computers and technology can be to those who have never experience their magic. That point when going to someplace like Google was new, and the idea that you could type in words and you could find out everything you were looking for them.

I get all giddy when I can use my iPhone to VPN into my laptop, download a document and then FTP it back into my phone to run a hacked application to open it. Or how I can use the WII remote to control my laptop that's plugged into my TV to watch movies through.

Being comfortable with technology is what we are striving for. Yet in that comfort we must always be aware that of that newness for others and the challenges its presents for others. When you are preparing to use technology in your lessons, know that for many it will be the first time they've encountered it, plan to address those, give yourself that time. Don't just put in your lesson that you're going to have your kids blog for their writing class. If you're going to do that, how to do plan on getting them setup to do that, how do you plan on teaching them how to use the online tools. How are their mouse skills?

However, make sure you yourself never loose that joy that technology can bring for the first time.

Technology - it's a cool thing. Like the air on my naked face. Wow, do I look like a baby.

Best Wishes,
Bob
(Oh, I never proof read anything, so take this for what it is... a rough draft, if I've forgotten a word or two, meh, that's life.)